Turtle Cannon Competitions are sporting activities routinely held at Big Green, and on at least one occasion, away from it as well. They have traditionally pitted First Squad against Second Squad in various forms of turtle racing. Typically, the victor will either retain or gain the title of First Squad.

First Turtle Cannon CompetitionEdit

The game began as a series of many races, which tied early on and remained until the final event. The final event was a reversal: the track was covered in slick ice, and the goal was to move as slowly as possible. First Squad ultimately won by flattening themselves between turtle treads and acting like kites or parachutes.

Second Turtle Cannon CompetitionEdit

This game took the form of three events. The first was a match using very large turtles, which initially proved difficult to control. The second was a race with very small turtles, who could be ridden like skates. The final round introduced a new twist, throwing balloons of a spicy substance at the faces of the squad's respective team leaders, who were suspended over the track. Second Squad made the most hits with the balloons, but First Squad won because Lin Chung had realized the true path to victory: showing restraint from harming his team leader.

Third Turtle Cannon CompetitionEdit

This competition took place outside of Big Green, being staged inside of Chameleon Queen and being arranged by Second Squad, riding chameleons, who felt insulted by their treatment at Big Green. Three rounds were held. The first had the unexpected twist of an insect-infested track, due to Chameleon Queen's appetite. Because their chameleons could gobble down the insects, the round was won by Second Squad. The second round, with a track flooded by Chameleon Queen drinking, was taken by First Squad, whose turtles were superior swimmers. The final round, during which rocks tumbled down on the competitors, was seemingly won by Second Squad, the first to cross the finish line. However, in their haste to win, the ignored the danger to Commander ApeTrully, whereas First Squad had not. For this reason, First Squad was declared victorious.

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